Entry THREE - Peer Review (Vandhanaa's WA2)

On the whole, the essay is quite concise, and the ideas are brought forward in a very crisp and detailed manner. It is also somewhat coherent, although it takes effort for the reader to piece each point together and get the 'big picture' of the entire essay. Each paragraph explains its corresponding point in a 'cause-and-effect' way, which means the point gets through to the reader, but leaves behind a dull impression. Hence, its grip on the reader's attention is not strong.
Furthermore, the paragraphs are long, as a reader, find that I have to read and re-read many times in order to fully understand the points and their relations to each others.

Besides minor grammer mistakes, I'm not too sure if the use of '(i)' and '(ii)' as point indicators are correctly used, if they are allowed in the writing assignment. So perhaps we would be able to clarify on that.

Also, example of a 'study' in paragraph three is not clearly linked back to the original idea, which I guess is elaborated on in paragraph two. It seems like it is out of place with the essay's overall layout.

Otherwise, I think it is a good improvement over WA1. Its content portrayal has sharpened, so the reader would understand each point in depth. However, because of this, the essay would require some rearrangement to effectively capture the reader's attention and maximize his understanding.

Entry TWO - Peer Review (Vandhanaa's WA1)

Vaaddhanaa's essay in response to question one is generally coherent and clear, and the points are distributed into well-segmented paragraphs. It also has a good mix of paraphrasing of the given information and statistics , but is rather lacking in her own thoughts and ideas, which make it seem almost like a ‘summary’ of the article.

The essay elaborates on the natural and man-made problems and their relation, but there does not seem to clearly illustrate two supporting arguments for those elaborations, as mentioned in the introductory paragraph, which in contrast provides a coherent presentation of the question’s topic and key ideas.

Likewise, the paragraphs generally contain examples and statistical information that lend much support to the intended point. However, the subsequent points in each paragraph are not organised in the most effective manner, and as a reader, it is not easy to link the listed examples to their immediate ideas.

The essay as a whole is an easy read, but to find and chain all the points provided together requires a little extra work. The organisation pattern is such that it is easy to lose track of the big picture that is the main idea. The conclusion is tied to the essay as a whole, but concurs loosely with the ideas and statements portrayed in the thesis paragraph.

Entry ONE - Summary on Climate Change

Climate change has been a cause of concern for over a century, but has recently come under heavier scrutiny. Studies and models show the drastic effects global warming already has on earth, and is steadily worsening, particularly with increasing levels of greenhouse gases. In addition, human activity proves to be the largest and most obvious contributor to earth’s degradation.

Scientists are attempting to categorize and measure various aspects of the problems at hand, and have created Global and Regional Climate Models in order to study and predict climate shifts. Zooming into country-level statistics, it can be seen that the size of carbon footprints left by each country are closely tied to not only the population size, but also the level of affluence.

Each country's share is further broken down into more intimate levels, where institutional regulations and individual actions for climate stabilization come into play. Institutionally, the number of ways to cut emissions and wastage, and promote renewability, are limited in their effectiveness. It all boils down to the education, action and climate-consciousness of each and every person to truly make a difference.

First Assignment - Self Introduction and aspirations

Hello world, this blog is born, because I was unable to meet the English language academic standards prior to the start of the engineering course. Without a doubt, engineers are not expected to singlehandedly compose literary masterpieces, but counted on to construct just about everything else. I believe, however, that each and everyone of us are capable of more than just numbers and symbols. It is just a matter of determination, hard work, and most importantly, interest at heart.

First and foremost, I am currently enrolled in the faculty of mechanical engineering. From my observation after attending the first tutorial for EG1471, many of the students were previously from polytechnics who have not sat for a compulsory English language examination. I am, however, from Catholic Junior College, and had not been successful in securing a free time slot in semester one.

My interests are varied, but lie mainly in drawing and design. I had snowballed a fairshare of accolades including awards and a portfolio, so much so I had been asked by practically everyone as to why I have applied for a 'dull and calculation-intensive' course of study. It is because a part of me strives for a lifestyle of variety, in terms of the areas of knowledge and skills. Furthermore I feel that I can study engineering and draw at the same time, and that would boost my self-value. Another major factor is that the prospect of being an artist in Singapore is not at all enticing, unlike many of the other developed countries out there. I do, however, have to cope with immense pressure to do well.

With regards to where I would like to see improvement in my english competency, grammer, the ability to compose better-integrated paragraphs, and more smooth-flowing reading pieces are top in the list.

Thanks for reading.

Alvin